


He Who Deserves Happiness

by lotsofquestionslimitedanswers



Series: To Be Better To You [6]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Needs a Hug, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, M/M, Protective Jaskier | Dandelion, Roach is the best horse, Sad Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Sad with a Happy Ending, and hates it, brief mention of blood from a fist-fight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:21:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24013525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotsofquestionslimitedanswers/pseuds/lotsofquestionslimitedanswers
Summary: Summary:After overhearing patrons speculate over Geralt’s and Jaskier’s relationship, Geralt feels insecure about how deserving he is of Jaskier’s love. So, he decides to do the only thing that makes sense: have a chat with Roach.Excerpt:Geralt finally enters the stable and relief floods his body when he sees Roach. Hot tears prick his eyes.“Hi girl,” Geralt gently scratches behind Roach’s ear. “Are they treating you well? I hope they are. You deserve it.”Roach bumps Geralt’s shoulder with her head.“Okay, you win. Do you want to know the real reason I’m here? I’m sorry, it’s not to check on you.” Geralt sighs and pulls Roach’s brush out of his pack. He walks into the stall and starts to brush her as he talks. “Truth be told, I got overwhelmed in there. The relationship I have with Jaskier is not exactly news to you, but Jaskier and I holding hands when we walked into the inn was not well-received. People talked. Someone suggested I’d forced Jaskier to fall in love with me by using a spell. As if Jaskier could never love me on his own. What do you think about that?” Geralt sniffles.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: To Be Better To You [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1616074
Comments: 12
Kudos: 331





	He Who Deserves Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> There's a brief mention of bloody knuckles from a fist-fight that is talked about in the fic.

**Geralt**

They enter the inn and Geralt can smell the stench of fear and disgust on the patrons. The sour smell nearly overwhelms Geralt’s nostrils. What’s worse is he can hear them mutter under their breath.

_“Witcher,”_

_“Butcher,”_

_“What’s the bard doing holding that monster’s hand?”_

_“Disgusting is what it is.”_

_“Monster,”_

_“Inhuman,”_

Geralt looks at Jaskier. The bard is smiling as he leads the way to the innkeepers. Jaskier must not hear them. It’s just Geralt who can hear them due to the mutations…The ones that heightened his senses and turned him into the monster the patrons are discussing.

Jaskier looks so happy right now, but surely, he would be happier with someone who is whole. Someone who isn’t a monster. Someone who hasn’t been ripped apart and pulled back together by spells and trials and potions and mutations. Someone normal. And yet…here Jaskier is. With Geralt. And Jaskier has made it clear that he is happy with Geralt of all beings.

Geralt is happy to be with Jaskier too. That’s the problem though; isn’t it? Geralt is happy with Jaskier. But does Geralt _deserve_ to be happy? Does he _deserve_ Jaskier? Does the _Butcher of Blaviken_ deserve to be with someone who loves him the way Jaskier does?

Geralt’s thoughts are beginning to spiral and _of course_ the patrons keep talking.

_“Beast,”_

_“Filthy,”_

_“I heard he put a spell on the bard.”_

_“No way a human would be with him otherwise.”_

It’s too much. The patrons are too much. This stinking inn is too much. Geralt’s thoughts are too much. Even Jaskier—sweet, loving Jaskier—is too much right now.

Geralt quickly pulls his hand out of Jaskier’s. Jaskier immediately turns to look at Geralt. His blue eyes are wide and full of concern.

“Are you alright, Geralt?” Jaskier asks in a quiet voice. Jaskier takes a step closer to Geralt but doesn’t try to touch him.

“I need to leave. Can you get us a room? Please?” Geralt asks.

“Of course,” Jaskier says. “Do what you must. I love you.”

Geralt freezes. He cannot say it back. Not right now with everyone staring. Not when all anyone sees is a monster with a lovestruck bard.

Geralt manages to choke out the words, “I’m sorry” before he all but runs out of the inn.

Geralt goes straight to the stables. Talking to Roach will make him feel better. It always does. Roach is always such a good listener. It’s probably because she’s a horse and cannot give him much feedback. Geralt does _not_ want to think about what Roach would say if she _could_ talk to him.

Geralt finally enters the stable and relief floods his body when he sees Roach. Hot tears prick his eyes.

“Hi girl,” Geralt gently scratches behind Roach’s ear. “Are they treating you well? I hope they are. You deserve it.”

Roach bumps Geralt’s shoulder with her head.

“Okay, you win. Do you want to know the real reason I’m here? I’m sorry, it’s not to check on you.” Geralt sighs and pulls Roach’s brush out of his pack. He walks into the stall and starts to brush her as he talks. “Truth be told, I got overwhelmed in there. The relationship I have with Jaskier is not exactly news to _you_ , but Jaskier and I holding hands when we walked into the inn was not well-received. People talked. Someone suggested I’d _forced_ Jaskier to fall in love with me by using a spell. As if Jaskier could never love me on his own. I would never do that to Jaskier. He's here of his own accord, but people just _assume_ otherwise because I am a witcher. What do you think about that?” Geralt sniffles.

Roach turns to stare at Geralt.

“I know Jaskier says he loves me. I know I love him too. It’s just,” Geralt fights a sob. “I don’t think I deserve it. Jaskier deserves all the love he wants, _but do I?_ After all the things I’ve done? I want to be good to Jaskier, but it was too hard to tell him that I love him earlier because I don’t _deserve_ to get to say it. He’s too precious. I don’t deserve the honor of loving him. But I don’t want to lose him. I’m so selfish; I really want him to stay with me.” Geralt’s voice breaks as a sob escapes him. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to cry in front of you all of the time. I just,” Geralt hugs himself as another sob rips through his being, causing him to shake. “It’s too much.” Geralt leans his forehead into Roach’s side.

Roach bumps Geralt’s shoulder with her head.

“I know I should talk to Jaskier about this but…not right now. No one—except for Yennefer, but that was so complicated for the both of us and we ended up hurting each other _so badly_ —has ever even suggested that they loved me. Not even my own mother. But Jaskier—” Geralt’s voice cuts off as he’s overtaken by another sob. “I cannot do it right now. It’s too—” Geralt sobs. “It’s _too much_.”

Geralt cries against Roach for a long time. Finally, he pulls away. He sniffs, rubs his eyes, and puts his pack on his back again. He’s surprised no one has entered the stable this whole time.

“Thank you, Roach.” Geralt says, kissing Roach’s forehead. “You are a true friend.”

Geralt realizes how pathetic this must look and is glad no one is around to witness it. Geralt walks out of the stables and finds Jaskier standing in front of the door.

Geralt freezes.

No. This cannot be happening.

“Oh, Geralt,” Jaskier rubs his neck. “Hello,”

“How much did you hear?” He can’t look at Jaskier. Geralt’s face burns with shame. Jaskier is surely going to leave him now. And Geralt deserves it. He’s too easily overwhelmed. He wishes Witchers truly did not have emotions. It would make his life easier.

“Not…not much. I just, um, well? You’d been gone for quite a while, so I went to look for you because you’d seemed upset earlier. I got here and found you crying so I waited outside.” Jaskier replies. “You clearly wanted to be alone, so I was trying to respect that once I’d found you and knew you were upset, but relatively safe.”

Geralt smells blood and looks Jaskier up and down. Geralt finds the source of the blood: Jaskier’s hands.

“Ah, yes, um, a few people had tried to come in while you were having your cry, so I encouraged them to leave. They did not like that, and it got a bit bloody. I’ve gotten quite good at blocking my face, I’ll have you know. And I got quite a few hits in myself too.” Jaskier grins.

Geralt wonders how he didn’t hear any of that. He must’ve been crying too hard to hear it. It’s so pathetic.

“You know, I think they believe we’re both cursed or something because after I started hissing at them, they scampered off and never came back.” Jaskier continues talking.

That catches Geralt’s attention.

“You hissed at them?” Geralt asks.

Jaskier shrugs. “I heard rumors in the inn. Decided to use them for some good.” Jaskier sends Geralt a cheeky grin.

 _Oh._ Jaskier _did_ hear the patrons. Geralt is unsure if he should feel better or worse about the situation.

“But you didn’t seem affected in the inn. You seemed happy.” Geralt says.

“Darling, I _am_ happy to be with you. Even if bored people spread nasty rumors about us, I’m happy to be with you.” Jaskier smiles at Geralt. “Because _you_ , Geralt of Rivia, are my very best friend in the whole wide world, my darling beloved witcher, and the person I love the most.”

Geralt feels warmth blossom in his chest. He can’t say it back (even though it’s true) so he decides to show it by pulling Jaskier into a tight hug. Geralt does not believe he deserves Jaskier, but Jaskier’s clearly happy with Geralt and Geralt would do anything to keep that smile on Jaskier’s face. Jaskier deserves to be happy and if he believes he is happy with Geralt, then Geralt will just have to make sure they stay together. Perhaps Geralt can become deserving of Jaskier in time.

“Oh, I quite like this,” Jaskier hugs Geralt back and presses his face into Geralt’s chest right over Geralt’s heart. “I always feel so safe like this. I’m not sure if I ever told you, but I absolutely _adore_ your hugs. You’re so warm and you hold me _so close_.” Jaskier sighs, “This is so nice. Truly, this is my very favorite place to be in the world. Right here. With you.”

Geralt hugs Jaskier a little tighter as he feels Jaskier nuzzle his face against his chest. Right over Geralt’s heart. Always over Geralt’s heart. Why? Geralt finally forces himself to ask, “Why do you always touch there? Your face when we hug. Your hand when we share a bed. Why?”

Jaskier looks up at Geralt and smiles. “Oh, dear heart,” Jaskier presses his hand over Geralt’s heart, “This is my favorite heart and I love to feel it beat. This heart deserves all the love and happiness it can find. I’m honored to be part of that. It’s a privilege to know you, Geralt, my dear sweet witcher, my love, my darling, my protector of the tormented.”

Geralt’s eyes well up with tears and he presses a kiss into Jaskier’s hair. He has to say it. For Jaskier. “I love you, Jaskier.” Geralt says, doing his absolute best not to cry again.

“I know you do and I’m so glad that you do because I love you too, Geralt.” Jaskier presses a kiss over Geralt’s heart.

If Geralt hugs Jaskier closer and has another cry well, that is between him and Jaskier.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I'm also @lotsofquestionslimitedanswers on tumblr and I post works from here on there too!  
> Please send prompts if you have any!
> 
> Thank you!:)


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